I Was a Fool
by Crying-Laughing
Summary: When Sara met Seth, she felt sane. Then something happens that makes Sara turn to her old ways.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello. I am new to this so I don't really know how to do this. Hopefully you guys like it.**

Feeling happy or sane wasn't actually an option for me. I'd freak out over something and people would stay far away from me as possibly, afraid I might turn violent. My family though it was a _crazy_ idea that I move to California after I finished college, even my therapist said so. Well he didn't say it was crazy, just too soon for me. Moving out here made me feel independent and stronger that I was doing something on my own without my parents or therapist breathing down my neck about everything I do.

Art took my interest. I loved paintings, drawings, sculptures and everything else that had to do with it! I remember painting a picture of Statue of Liberty one year when I went to New York City one year and sold it to an art gallery. That's where I met him. I knew so much about him, but he didn't know me at all. He was in magazines, website articles, he was on TV, and he made a movie and has three successful TV shows. The only picture of me that is seen publicly is the picture of me in my freshman year of school at my parents house when they bring their friends over for card games or dinners.

I remember it was after he did Saturday Night Live and came to the gallery with some friends. He was looking at my painting with a glass of Jack in his hand, like he was interested in my painting. I walked up to him and stood right next to him, he smelt like honey, I liked honey.

"_Amazing isn't it?" He said, he said it to me. My insides felt like they were on fire with joy and anxiety._

"_Yes it is." I replied, my hands started to sweat and my heart raced, he liked my painting!_

"_Do you know who painted this? I really like it." He said with a smile forming on his face, he likes it!_

"_Um… do you plan on buying it?" I asked, my heartfelt like it was going to explode_

"_Yeah, it feels like your looking out a window and looking at the real thing. I'm not much with colors but I like the way the colors fit with it." He looking at me, right in the eye "Sorry, my name is Seth and you are?"_

_Speak! Say something! He's asking what your name is! Damn it say something, don't freeze up! He's going to think you're a lunatic!_

"_Sara…" I whispered_

"_Well it's nice to meet you Sara." Seth held out his hand to me, wanting me to shake it. My hands were sweaty and that was not good. Before he could look down at my right hand I quickly wiped it on my purple dress. The handshake was firm and nice._

"_Well Sara I'm going to look for the artist that made this fantastic piece of art, so have a goodnight." Seth smiled at me and walked past me. He made his way into the group of people and it felt like that was the last time I was going to every see him again._

I cried knowing everything I did was my fault, not his… mine.


	2. Chapter 2

_**I am sorry for this very late up date. I'm such a piece of shit.**_

_Seth and I have been dating for about a month now and it has been the most amazing month of my life. I haven't had a freak out since I've been dating Seth. He keeps me sane. Seth has been planning a party for the last few days and I didn't know if he wanted me there or not. When I asked why he wanted to throw a party all of a sudden and he just said "So friends can come together." Seth planned for a 60 piece orchestra to play, he invited all his friends, ordered a lot of food and had a lot of decorations delivered to his house. _

_I was here at his house looking through all his CD and records while he was talking on the phone with his friend. When I heard him hang up, I made my way to him in the kitchen._

"_So this party should be amazing, can you call me tomorrow and tell me how it went?" I asked Seth while grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge, when I turned to look at him he just raised his eyebrows_

"_Sara I want you at the party, how would I introduce you to my friends and sister when you're at home?" Seth smiled_

_Wait he wanted me there? No one didn't really want me anywhere, I've had one boyfriend in high school but he made fun of me at the end when he learned more about me. He called me a psycho path…_

"_You want me to be at the party?" I looked at Seth, who was still smiling_

"_Of course, I told all my friends about you and they want to meet you. I even told my sister Rachel about you and she really wants to meet you." Seth smiled grew bigger. The fact that Seth talks about me to his friends and family scares me, these people will probably think I'm a nice girl Seth has grown to like, when I'm just a crazy girl that they will learn more about._

"_Sara? You okay?" Seth waved his hand in front of me, making me snap out of my thoughts. That was the thing with me, I would go off into my own little world and would block people out._

"_Yeah, so when is the party?" I asked_

"_Tonight." Seth grabbed my hand and pulled me closer to him and we started to slow dance in his kitchen. "So wear something pretty and come over at 8." Seth twirled me around making me giggle_

"_Alright than I am going to have to go home and get ready." I smiled at Seth with him doing the same "I'll be back tonight then."_

I screamed as loud as I could into my pillow. They told him, they told him! He knows I'm crazy! He knows I'm just a psycho path! He won't think of me as the same person he said I love you too, he'll just think of me as that person who looked for a way out of her life.

I got a call from my brother James and he said mom and dad went to Seth's house and told him. They told him everything, everything that is wrong with me. I soon later called my mom and screamed at her. I asked why she told him and what she said next made me fall to the ground and cry. She and my dad were still with Seth… and he was listening to me scream my lungs out to my mom.

"Honey please calm down, did you take your medication? Where are you? Please tell me Sara so your father and I can come get you, were worried about you." My mom pleaded.

"Seth thinks I'm crazy… doesn't he?" I asked, my mom was silent

"No honey he doesn't. He wants to talk to you, are you okay with that honey?" My mom asked

"No… no I don't want to talk to him. Mom I'm crazy and everyone knows it… why won't you just say it already. I know you think I'm insane—

"Sara where are you?" I froze; it was Seth "Sara? Sara are you there?" I hung up the phone and threw it at the wall, making the screen crack.

"Why is this happening to me?" I whispered to myself covering my face with my hands, and laid down on the bed.

_I walked into Seth's house and it was crowded with people! I didn't know where Seth was and I was also worried at how many women were here. I forgot that most of Seth's friends were (much more attractive) women._

"_Excuse me—Sorry—Excuse me" I moved past people, some men looking me up and down and some women rolling their eyes and sneering at me. I never liked being around these people, I feel like they know what's wrong with me and judge me. I made my way to the backyard and was amazed at all the decorations. Lights were hung on the trees along with little white lanterns, music was playing, and there was a view of the city. It looked glorious._

_As I was admiring the view I felt someone interlock the hand with mine. I looked and it was Seth._

"_It's good that you're here." Seth leaned down to kiss my head, I giggled at him with him smiling down at me. "Come on I want you to meet someone." Seth lead me back into the house and into the kitchen_

"_Sara, this is my good friend Norah, Norah this is Sara." I saw that Seth was introducing me to Norah Jones, my heart stopped for a second. I have always been a fan of Norah and here I was meeting her. Norah hugged me and smiled big at me and Seth._

"_So this is the amazing Sara Tyler I've heard so much about." Norah motioned to Seth_

"_You've heard about me?" I was starting to be paranoid now "Of course, your all the man talks about!" Norah laughed at Seth, who started to blush a little._

"_SETH!" I heard someone yell out from a distance, Seth and I both turned around and saw Rachel, Seth's sister walk out of a crowd. I never met Rachel before but Seth said that Rachel was like him in a way but was more mature than he was._

"_Seth, you ran out of Jack and also dad wants to talk to you." Rachel stood tall next to her brother, but was the same height as me. When Rachel saw me, she had the biggest smile on her face._

"_Are you Sara?" Rachel pushed Seth. "Rachel." Seth said in an annoyed tone to his sister. "Seth shut-up grow ups are talking." Norah laughed with Seth mumbling "I'm the older one."_

"_Um, yeah. It's nice to meet you Rachel." I stuck my hand out for Rachel but Rachel just tugged on my arm and pulled me into bone crushing hug._

"_It is so good to finally met you! Seth never shuts up about you!" Rachel let me go with her smile never fading form her face. I looked at Seth whose face was red as a tomato_

"_Well it's good to know that some nice things have been said about me." Rachel and Norah both laughed which scared me for a moment, did Seth say something bad about me? I think Norah notice me expression and tried her best to stop laughing_

"_Don't worry Seth has said some very good things about you." Norah said to me making me sigh with relief_

"_I am so in love with this girl Rachel I don't know what I would if I never met her." Rachel did her best impersonation of Seth. You could tell Rachel was a bit tipsy and Seth looked like he was going to die of embarrassment. I couldn't help but laugh but was also surprised; Seth said he was in love with me._

"_Seth and Sara sitting in a tree k-i-s-s-i-n-g" Norah quietly sang to herself and smirked at Seth_

"_Okay well Sara and I are going to look for dad." Seth reached for hand but Rachel cut him off "Don't worry Seth, go look for dad and Norah and I will keep Sara here company." Rachel grabbed my hand along with Norah's and walked away from Seth. I turned back and mouthed 'I love you' to Seth. Seth's expression was priceless._

I wonder what Seth's face looked like when my parents told Seth about me. Was he shock? Did he think I was crazy, no wait he called my crazy… so he already knows that. I ruined everything for the both of us, everything was my fault.

I walked to the bathroom, turned on the hot water and let the bathroom fill up with steam. I sat there for about an hour, singing to myself

_**It's alright, its okay. I don't need you anyway. **_I sang quietly and I felt myself started to drift off.


	3. Chapter 3

_**Hi, it's me again.**_

My phone rang over and over again. I knew who it was, and I didn't want to talk to him. As much as I love Seth, I just couldn't tell him everything about me. I tried my best to stay away from Seth but he had a way of making his way back in my life without even trying. He would smile and ask how I was doing while I just give him my most awkward smile, talk briefly and walk away.

When Seth bought my painting he asked if he could keep in contact with me and I said yes. I stayed another month in New York City before leaving for California; I wanted to go to San Francisco and try and do an oil painting of the beaches there and try to visit Ramona. Seth didn't know who Ramona was but my parents probably already told him. I know I'm going to have to face Seth and I can't hide in my apartment forever from him. My phone rang nonstop in the last 30 minutes; I knew it was either Seth, my mom, dad or James.

I got up from my bed and walked into the living room and began looking though my CDs. Whenever I feel like I'm at my worst I try to listen to music a lot so I'd relax my brain.

Amy Winehouse? **Not now**

Billie Holiday? **Seth isn't here with me to enjoy Billie Holiday**

Tegan and Sara? **Not today**

Frank Sinatra? **Reminds me to much of Seth**

Joss Stone? **No thank you**

Stars? **As much as I love them… no**

Taylor Swift? **How** **did that get there?**

The Smiths? **Yes.**

I smiled and grabbed the CD disc and put it in the CD player, I pushed play and headed back to my bed room. I went under the covers, and thought of Seth and I.

**Sing me to sleep**

**Sing me to sleep**

**I'm tired and**

**I want to go to bed**

**Sing me to sleep**

**Sing me to sleep**

**And then leave me alone**

**Don't try to wake me in the morning**

**Cause I will be gone**

**Don't feel bad for me**

**I want you to know**

**Deep in the cell of my heart**

**I will feel so glad to go**

I began to think of the first time Seth kissed me, it was so steamy, and humiliating that we just went at it with each other but it was also funny. We went to dinner (as friends than) and just took a walk down the street to his car.

"_Please Rachel was the most annoying sister when we were little, once she broke one of my mom's china dishes and she blamed me. So I got in trouble and when I said it wasn't me it was always 'Seth you're older, learn to take responsibility for yourself." Seth said in a deep voice portraying his father probably, making me laugh_

"_Oh no, once James and I were in the living room and he spilt his drink on the carpet and my mom was pissed!" I said with Seth raising his eyebrows at me_

"_That's not so bad."_

"_We had white carpet and it was fruit punch, so she made me clean it up but I ruined it some more but putting a hole in the carpet and don't ask how that happen."_

"_Oh damn." Seth laughed "Okay you win." I smiled at Seth knowing I was the winner_

"_Thank again, for paying for dinner. I promise I'll pay next time." I said to Seth he just chuckled at me_

"_What? I will coffee, lunch or dinner." I said to Seth but he just smiled and said "It's not that I'm just glad that we can do this again." Seth's smile grew wider making me blush and tried to hide it with my auburn hair_

"_Don't shy away, I think it's cute when you blush." Seth said but I stopped and looked at him with him doing that same. I really like Seth, I did every since I saw him at the gallery._

"_You think it's cute when I blush." I couldn't help but ask with Seth looking down at his feet_

"_Yeah it's cute." Seth looked up at me and smirked at me. Seth raised his hand and pushed back a strain of hair from my face. Seth and I stared at each other with a big goofy smile on your faces_

"_You have very pretty eyes Ms. Tyler." Seth said to me, my eyes where grey and I always thought I had horrible eyes. Once when I was mad at myself I scratched at my eyes till I started to bleed around my eyes._

"_Thank Mr. MacFarlane, so do you." I said looking into Seth's chocolate colored eyes. Before I knew it, Seth leaned in and my lips touch his. His lips were soft next to mine, next I felt his tongue pass my lips and it was amazing. Soon I pulled away to catch my breath and Seth looked shocked as me_

"_I'm sorry I didn't mean to do that. I don't know why I did that—" I cut Seth off by grabbing his hand and we ran back to his car. I heard the car beep meaning it was unlock so I hurried and jumped into the passenger seat with him in the driver seat._

"_Sara I'm sorry for doing that, I'll take you home if you want—" I leaned into Seth and kissed again. It felt nice, soft and warm. It felt like it lasted forever, Seth brought his hand up and held my face in his hands and I had my hands on his neck. Before I knew it I felt Seth starting to unbutton my blouse and I began pulling up his shirt, I never went this fast with a guy since high school but it felt right with Seth. Once Seth_ _unbutton all the buttons on my blouse and my pink lace bra was shown, right when I pulled Seth's shirt over his head, my phone when off._

"_Oh crap." I whispered to myself, I looked through my purse to find my phone but it was no use. It was probably my mom asking how I was doing so I just left my bag and let the phone ring till it went off. I looked over at Seth and he was putting his grey t-shirt back on, once he got it on he looked at me._

"_I… I didn't mean to do that, um I never do that to any girl and I am sorry, I couldn't control myself." Seth apologized making me smirk_

"_Seth it's okay, I'm glad it happened… unless you didn't want it to happen." I said with my voice going soft_

"_No I am glad it happen too, it just that. Sara I like you, I always have since I saw you at that gallery in New York. Whenever I look at you I can't help but want to kiss you Sara. But I didn't really want our first kiss to go this far… in my car… with your blouse unbutton." Seth blushed and looked away from me, I squeaked and button up my purple blouse._

"_Neither did I, I don't usually do this with someone who hasn't asked me out on a date." I giggled with Seth doing the same. "We're lucky no one was around to see what we did." He said making me paranoid and I started looking through the window of the car. Their was an awkward silence between us till he spoke_

"_I don't want things to be awkward between us Sara." Seth said with me nodding "Me too… so what should we do?" I asked_

"_Sara Tyler would you like to go on a date with me?" Seth asked smiling with me blushing so hard, it wasn't because Seth asked me out, it was because I dreamt of this moment ever since I met him. Instead of pouncing and yelling yes, I leaned into Seth again and kissed him softly with Seth returning the kiss. I pulled away from Seth and looked him right in the eye. _

"_Yes."_

I smiled at that Seth and I's first kiss, Seth and I nearly went to made a home run in his car till my mom called, and Seth asking me out to go on a date with him. It felt nice to know I had mood memories with him… and some steam ones. God I'm such a teenager. Teenager… Teen… mom…

I couldn't help but start crying again at that thought. Whenever I start think of something, my mind starts going down the line to something of my past that was so bad. When I felt myself starting to drift off, there was a knock at my door. I glared at me bedroom door and looked at my clock.

**4:18 p.m.** I groaned and got up from my bed. I don't know who would come and see me, my family lived a thousand of miles away from me, Seth doesn't know where I live, the only one that knows is… Rachel. Shit.

I hurried and walked to the door and looked through the peep hole, but didn't see anyone. I opened the door to look out till I heard someone yell 'Boo.' I screamed and saw Rachel against the wall and smiled at me softly.

"Other people live in this complex Rachel! What the hell!" I yelled but Rachel just glared at me in return

"No Sara I should be yelling at you! What happen between you and Seth? I got a call from Seth yesterday and he said you just left! Sara you know how Seth feels about you and you just leave him like that! What is wrong with you, are you crazy—"

"Shut up!" I screamed at Rachel, Rachel's eyes grew big at me "I am not crazy! I'm not! So just shut up and leave me alone!" I yelled and closed the door in Rachel's face. Rachel kept knocking and called out to me

"Sara? Sara please open the door, I'm sorry for yelling." Rachel pleaded, me being the sap that I am opened the door to Rachel whose eyes were still big and a frown on her face. "Sara… what just happen?" Rachel asked making me wipe the tears from my eyes.

"Rachel I know that I hurt Seth, but it's better if I stay away from him. There are things Seth doesn't know about me that need to stay hidden from him and everyone else. I wish I can tell you but I can't so I'm sorry. Bye Rachel." I closed the door and locked it. I walked back to my room and hid under the covers of my blanket.

**Sing me to sleep**

**Sing me to sleep**

**I don't want to wake up**

**On my own anymore**

**Sing to me**

**Sing to me**

**I don't want to wake up**

**On my own anymore**

**Don't feel bad for me**

**I want you to know**

**Deep in the cell of my heart**

**I really want to go**

**There is another world**

**There is a better world**

**Well, there must be**

**Well, there must be**

**Well, there must be**

**Well, there must be**

**Mother…**

**Mother…**

**Mmmmmmmother….**


End file.
